Why Women Treat In Laws Differently Than Own Parents? Family dynamics create diverse social relationships for most people, and for women, attitudes towards in-laws differ significantly from that of blood relations. This difference in treatment bothers a lot of people, and they ask themselves the question of why. Why are women properly principled while in the presence of their in-laws but much more relaxed when they are around their own families? The answer to this puzzle is complex, involving cultural norms, comfort zones, and how particular people relate to each other.
In this article, we will discuss the various reasons for this behavior, particularly why there is a difference among women’s treatment to her parents and parents-in-law. Hence, this article will clarify the notions of family structure and its relations to these especially elaborate characteristics.
Cultural expectations and social norms are one of the major factors that women consider when dealing with their in-laws and their parents respectively. In most cultures, especially where traditional beliefs prevail, it is commonly held that women are required to honor and obey their husbands’ families. This kind of pressure usually comes along with an obligation to show unwillingness to be informal towards in-laws.
1.1 Respect and Deference:
There is an assumption in many cultures that a woman will show more respect to the family of her husband than to her own. This is particularly true in cultures which are characterized by ruling males, where a woman marries into her husband’s family. Thus, such women are expected to be polite and courteous to their husband’s relatives as they are deemed to be in charge of the family.
1.2 Judgment:
Inlaws sometimes induce groups of people that expectancy of being accessed or rated by them is high. Traditionalists tend to bear the weight of all social pressure together with the supervision over them, within the ranks of their communities or societal groupings. This eventually leads them to maintain a civilized manner mainly towards the relatives of their husbands with and absolute or relative desire to gamble without too much panic on what the reaction or response will be.
Another critical cause contributing to giving out favoritism towards the biological parents as opposed to in-laws is that of emotional comfort. One’s own parents, to most women, serve as a source of emotional uprooting and assurance, making them comfortable and free. In-laws especially in the initial relationship context do not offer such warmth and comfort.
2.1 Bonding Over Time:
Traditionally a daughter’s emotional connection to her parents is embedded over 30 years of relationships. They have such a great access to each other; they cannot help but grow great affection for one another. In contrast, relations with the in-laws is much younger than that and its development takes a long time due to some reasons. It creates an impression that more often than not, most of such relationships begin and feel quite formal.
2.2 Fear of Hurting Feelings:
When faced with their own parents, for instance, a woman may more openly state her true emotions or even dissent. However, regarding in-laws, the same woman may be apprehensive that frankness may be construed in an offensive way or may make the relationship strained. In such instances, therefore, women tend to be more careful and tactful dealing with their in-laws, particularly when the relationship is still in great development.
It is also assumed in marriage that a woman will play a role in consolidating her husband and his families. As a result, women tend to be more diplomatic and careful while dealing with several family members to ensure that nothing derogatory happens to their marriages.
3.1 Protecting the Relationship:
Most women tend to believe that in-laws relationships can break or make a marriage. They are often in good terms with the husband’s family and the result is a healthy environment for the couple. In contrast to this, even the slightest disagreement with in-laws may put a couple’s relationship under strain. For this reasons, a lot of women are overly nice and polite to their husbands’ relatives even when they do not enjoy the same level of warmth as that extended by their own mothers and fathers.
3.2 Sandwiching Both Sides:
Most women spend their energy managing the demands of their civil relatives and the expectations imposed by the parents. This act of playing both sides can be mentally draining, and an unhappy woman will resort to treating the sides, unevenly, for the sake of tranquility. She may not mind speaking her mind in her family, but when it comes to the in laws she prefers arguing with silence.
New family systems are created after a marriage and such can be very difficult for most women. The nature of relationship that a lady has with her own parents is most of the time contrary to the mode and scope of relationship expected with her husband’s family. This difference in expectation creates some hesitation.
4.1 Adapting to Different Personalities:
Every family has its own mix of its constituent members and their ways of interaction with one another. It is not uncommon for women to realize that their in-laws hold different systems of values, communication or behavior expectations than their own side of the family. This might complicate relations making them more formal and reserved, this maybe because it is not clear how one ought to act in such situations.
4.2 Setting Boundaries:
Due to the emotional bond that women perhaps have with their parents, they hardly have problems drawn lines with them over some issues. With parents-in-law however, the case is always a different scenario as the woman will be unwilling to boarder on issues with them. Such is the case mostly when the women are still in the phase of nurturing a positive rapport with their husband’s family. For this reason, it may be inferred that women are more lenient and accommodating towards the in-laws at the expense of their preferences and needs.
When a woman gets married, she tends to get married into the husband’s family from that moment on. This transition in her status can be difficult as she is neither only a daughter anymore but also now a daughter-in-law. In dealing with her in-laws, a new adjustment would be to this position, which calls for change in conduct and finding a way on how one can respect the in-laws while not going against herself.
5.1 Trying to Fit In:
Most women have the urge to try and please their husbands’ clans. This could include embracing customs, practices and even attitudes that are foreign to them. Consequently, they may feel restrained in the presence of their in-laws in a manner that is not the case with their parents who are used to their nature and ways.
5.2 Earning Respect:
Many women believe that it is necessary to earn the respect of their in-laws. This gives rise to behavior which inhibits them in the first instance especially when the in-law are critical of their abilities as a wife and a mother. More so, in wanting to make good impression, women tend to interact formally while in the presence of their in-laws than they would do in the presence of their parents.
The ways through which women relate with their in-laws and parents come with certain variables such as cultural norms, emotional attachment and tendency to preserve the marriage. And while these relationships will fine differently, it becomes vital for women to strike a healthy relationship with their in-laws without losing their own identity.
Providing a framework for comprehending these elements is beneficial in increasing the tolerance and understanding which both the woman and her family members will have towards the difficulties associated with in-law relations.
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